


Splinter in the Butt

by StarwindMordSithCara



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Comedy, Cussing, F/F, Short & Sweet, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-06
Updated: 2019-04-06
Packaged: 2020-01-05 15:00:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18368402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarwindMordSithCara/pseuds/StarwindMordSithCara
Summary: A short comedic one shot scene that wouldn't fit in my other stories.





	Splinter in the Butt

Today is just another normal day at LCorp. Everything is running smoothly and efficiently. Lena and Kara had went out for a nice lunch at the park and Jess is making her rounds of the floor management. Getting updates on the latest need-to-know information. It was a little while later, Jessica went to the CEO's office to lay some reports on her boss' desk when she heard some strange noises coming from within. She opens the door to find her boss bent over her desk with Miss Danvers precariously behind her rump with the CEO's skirt upraised.

 

"Just please take it out. God it hurts so much." The CEO says with a pained voice.

 

"Stop being a baby and stop moving. This is a delicate operation."

 

"I didn't realize it was so big."

 

Jess' eyes bugged out for a moment as she observes the scene in mild shock.

 

The blond responds concisely "If you'd stop kicking me I might be able to pull it out."

 

"You try something like that inside your own ass and let's see how well you'd take it."

 

"Stop distracting me."

 

"Ow"

 

"Damnit I almost had it. You keep squirming it keeps getting pushed in more."

 

The assistant squeaked and finally Kara whips her head around, turns an interesting shade of red and blurts "This is not what it looks like!"

 

"Well can't say I'm all that surprised but not locking the door is not Ms Luthor's usual style. Not to mention I didn't know Kara was packing heat." The admin sassed and was about to exit.

 

The blond spluttered.

 

"Damnit Jess it's just a splinter." Lena yells at the snarky assistant.

 

"Yes please help. Get some antiseptic and some tweezers or something."

 

"Aha well my bad." The assistant smirks with a shrug.

 

About that time Sam walks in. "Lena I... What's going on here?"

 

"Splinter." Jessica supplies dutifully.

 

"I see."

 

Kara's frustrated trying to keep the woman's hips from wriggling "She keeps moving and making it worse everytime I try to get it."

 

Jess goes and gets the antiseptic from the personal bathroom and trudges back. It looks like Sam is using a pocket knife to try and nudge the wood piece but just like Kara mentioned Lena is kicking.

 

"Lena chill with the knee attempts here." Samantha scolds her while trying to concentrate.

 

"I'm Sorry! My pain reaction is sensitive to anything in that area. Just please I don't want to have to go to medical for this." The brunette is absolutely mortified and rubs her head.

 

The blond gets an idea "Alright you two hold her down while I try and work it out."

 

They finally brace both legs and Kara's got a firm arm pressed into her lower back to keep the genius' hips from moving.

 

At that moment Alex enters.

 

Jessica just rolls her eyes because Lena chose that moment to cry out and the director pulls her gun on them.

 

"Alright hands where I can see them!"

 

All three helpers raise their hands in the air.

 

"For fuck's sake! Is all of National City going to see my ass?!" Lena smacks her forehead on the desk.

 

Sam says in a calm voice "Alex relax we're just helping Lena."

 

"Yes it seems Ms Luthor has gotten a splinter and we're having a bit of trouble getting it out. She's being quite stubborn about the whole thing." Jessica says with an annoying huff.

 

The director walks around to see a clear shot of the CEO's face while still keeping her weapon trained on the three. Odd enough she has to pull a gun on her own sister but that scene she walked in on was just unreal "Lena is that true? Are you alright?"

 

"I will be fine once this damn things out." Lena gritted out.

 

"You try tweezers, squeezing?" The agent questions while putting her weapon in the the back of her waistband as the trio put their arms down.

 

Kara nods "Yes we tried everything but she squirms and fights."

 

"I know one sure-fire way but you're not going to like it." Alex slowly makes her way back towards the door with an odd expression.

 

Three sets of eyes peer at her curiously while Lena is just rubbing her eyes from the pain.

 

"Someone's got to suck it out."

 

"Alright that's it I'm out." Jess tosses the cotton ball down onto the desk and grabs Sam's arm, dragging her out of the room.

 

Kara again turns another bright shade of red as even Alex shuffles out and shouts over her shoulder "Good luck sis!"

 

It was almost ten minutes later a blushing stuttering Kara exits with the half inch piece of wood shard in hand. "I'm uh... I have to go.." and heads in the direction of the elevators quickly.

 

"Well now I've seen everything." The assistant snickers.

 

With clothing in place, Lena comes running out and gives the three women a level 10 glare. "Not a word."

 

The brunette then goes chasing after the reporter. "Kara wait please!"

 

"Think they'll stop being oblivious idiots?" Alex says quietly to the other two.

 

Sam shrugs "Maybe Lena's asking Kara out?"

 

Jess types into her phone "I say $50 that within the week, they're sleeping together."

 

"I'll take that bet." 

 

"Yea me too."

 

Both women agree although the redhead has a look of disgust about her features.

 

\---

 

Three days later...

 

Mid afternoon

 

LCorp

 

Jess is hearing strange sounds once more and this time the CEO did lock her door. There is no mistaking what's going on behind those doors when a very loud "Oh Fuck Kara!" came through, it made the assistant blush. 

 

She calmly walks back to her desk and picks up her phone. She sends a group text.

 

~

The Jess: Pay up bitches!!!

 

ADanvers: GROSS and Damnit!

 

Sammy: CRAP are they going at it in the office?!

 

The Jess: Unmistakable and Lena locked the door.

 

ADanvers: Don't tell me anything just take my money. You thirsty hoes can sidebar.

 

Sammy: Poor Alex

 

The admin hears several things crashing and shattering as the moans get louder.

 

The Jess: Crap they're destroying the room.

 

ADanvers left the conversation.

 

Sammy: So I'll send in a specialty crew tonight to clean up and sanitize.

 

The Jess: You should just ask Alex out.

 

Sammy: Are all these Danvers women oblivious??

 

The Jess: If she caves to you within the next seven days I'll give you $100.

 

Sammy: :D DEAL! Can you babysit?

 

The Jess: Sure why not.

 

~

 

Jess clears the CEO's schedule for the rest of the day with a snicker. Locks down the elevators and heads out to lunch.


End file.
